This is What It Looks Like When We Win
Amster -- diggity, diggity -- dam
I feel as if nothing I say will do Amsterdam justice. More importantly, I'm pretty sure I'm in capable of doing it justice. At some point the days all blur together, the coffee shops, the joints all become one and the same, yet distinct. It's become a memory montage in my mind: snippets of remembered conversations, flashes of the light on the canal, the sounds of bells and dutch, the smells. All jumbled into a beautifully smoky idea of what I knew would be a city that I truly and deeply love. And not just for the pot.
Here's some bits from that melange -- the Greatest Hits, so to speak, in no particular order especially not chronologically.
"What?" Now image the interpretive dance for "rolling paper."
"Uh, dude, we're on . . . Sjjeppekij Deithcjk Splat. Sllejjisckjtgc Spllegjjik? No idea."
"Dude, is that two j's in a row, followed by a t-g-c-s? Wtf? You can't do that."
"Well, we crossed a canal. . . "
"Uh. . you mean like 4."
"There's some neon that way. . . " (Neon= coffeeshop)
"Maybe we live that way . . ."
"From the initial claims of Hobbes and his unfortunate picture of the nature of man, one adds Spinoza’s trust in reason in accordance with God by another name – Nature. Add a dash of Leibniz’s postulate of individual divinity, and stir well. After baking in the oven of the Enlightenment, one is left with Rousseau. where everyone in society retains the liberty to partake of this tasty treat – democracy and personal rule combined with freedom in society. "
Dit is wat wij kijken alsof wanneer wij winnen.
I feel as if nothing I say will do Amsterdam justice. More importantly, I'm pretty sure I'm in capable of doing it justice. At some point the days all blur together, the coffee shops, the joints all become one and the same, yet distinct. It's become a memory montage in my mind: snippets of remembered conversations, flashes of the light on the canal, the sounds of bells and dutch, the smells. All jumbled into a beautifully smoky idea of what I knew would be a city that I truly and deeply love. And not just for the pot.
Here's some bits from that melange -- the Greatest Hits, so to speak, in no particular order especially not chronologically.
- Watching old music videos from Dutch MTV, with a ticker in Dutch on the bottom. We'd sit there, early in the morning (noon) and eat our cheap ass yet filling breakfast provided by the hostel, slack jawed, glassy eyed. Then, if we were really ambitious, we'd try to pronounce some of the ambient text. Our "Dutch" breakfast: three slices of toast, some cheese, jam, butter, and coffee. Oh, and a joint. Or three.
- There was a huge museum park by the Van Gogh Museum with some modern sculptures. My fav: the huge on in bigger-then man-sized letters that spelt out "I AMSTERDAM" with the "I AM" in red. Super cool. Especially after you visit a smart shop. And these bangin' trees.
- At 11:00 am, they make you get the fuck on the goddamn. The staff -- all male -- comes into the huge rooms, opens the windows, starts vacuuming, changing the sheets. Time to get up Dirty Hippies.
- I didn't fall into a canal. Not even once.
- Bells. Amsterdam is full of churches and other well-lit, ornate shit that's probably important. I know jack about the monuments/buildings/historical sites we wandered past, but the bells, the bells. Every hours you could hear them peeling through the city creating a cacophony of tones, bouncing off the canals.
- Menus dude. Menus. I. Stood. In. Line.
- After Wednesday, we both realized that we were almost out of money. Only solution: eat less. We spent more money on coffee shops then eating. We win.
- I can now roll my own smoking products. I've actually taken to loving to roll my own cigarettes. I'm oh so cool.
- Dutch is the most ridiculous language ever. They use letters in strange patters, pronounce portions of it, I think. It basically sounds like they're totally making it up on the spot. It kinda has the cadence of the intro to that song we all love so much: to the windows, to the walls." But only when sung in a hooky way, using syllables of "doot doot neer neerm neer."
"What?" Now image the interpretive dance for "rolling paper."
- Pints of Heineken (which is even better there -- I know, how can that be?) for 3.20 in our hostel. Which means there also a large number of Loud Drunken British/Australian/Irish chicks around all the time, but hey. Right on, get your drunk on. In fact, one of the Irish's boyfriend comes in and says, "Man, every time I see you girls, you're completely blazed." We replied that that's much better then starting your morning with toast and a bud light. Ewwww.
- Phallic Symbols. Everywhere. Our best landmark was in Dam Square: a dutch national monument that looks like a huge dick. Not kidding you. There was also a Homomonument, but we never seemed to wander to it. (I put my Dutch national monument in her Georgia O'Keefe -- Jesse)
- No matter the time of the day, the vast majority of people look blung. So past blingin' they're blung. Red eyed, laughing, stumbling down the street, grubbing the fuck. Lauren and I were a part of that and it was beautiful.
- We lived a skip, a hop and a joint for the red light district. Many nights, we'd find that entertaining area after wandering. We were like, oh yea, I know this "LIVE FUCKING SEX SHOW;" we're totally almost home. We would always hold hands so that the creepy dudes wouldn't hit on us. You would think that the abundance of mostly naked chicks in windows would be enough for them, but no.
- Since my computers been dead, I've been increasing Lauren's musical experiences. Keller, Grateful Dead, Bob Marley. She's been oh so receptive. ( I love my husband!!) Then, we found this really cool basement shop with mural painted walls, and a guitar shaped table. We'd visited a smart shop, so this was of vital importance. We were there for a relative for-ev-er, just chillin'. Then, at one point, Lauren started singing along to "No Woman, No Cry." It was a beautiful, triumphant moment.
- The ambient smell.
- We had a corner store. And I can't do metric conversion, so lets just say Lauren and did the Dam right. Rough estimations appear to be around 25-27 grams. And that's the conservative estimate.
"Uh, dude, we're on . . . Sjjeppekij Deithcjk Splat. Sllejjisckjtgc Spllegjjik? No idea."
"Dude, is that two j's in a row, followed by a t-g-c-s? Wtf? You can't do that."
"Well, we crossed a canal. . . "
"Uh. . you mean like 4."
"There's some neon that way. . . " (Neon= coffeeshop)
"Maybe we live that way . . ."
- LOOZA!! LOOZA!! The most tasty fruit creation to ever touch you lips. Looza will always have a special place in my heart. It's totally like food, right?
- Most strikingly, Amsterdam is a city of wandering. I have no idea where anything actually is in that city, but if you give me 15 minutes, I'll find what we're looking for , or something parallel. It was because of this phenomenon of geography that Lauren and I visited so many coffee shops. (Sure, that's it. . .) Where's that coffeeshop? If you wander towards Dam Square, turn left after a while, look around, possibly cross a canal. . .
- Again, after visiting a smart shop, we went to the fungus friendly store next door to our hostel. And there, I meet the most gorgeous Greek man ever. Possibly the most beautiful person on the face of the planet. Rendered me in capable of speaking. Seriously, I couldn't form complete thoughts. Oh, pretty.
- Some of the Dutch look like elves. And then, when you leave the smart shop, they wink and appropriately say, "Have a nice Trip."
- Dutch Pastries. Apple Pastries. Enough said.
- It was if everyone was having their own private party. As Lauren put it, it's like when you're friend tells you about the rockin' party he went to last weekend, full of hillarious. Then, you ask who's party it was: "Dude, I was totally at that party."
"From the initial claims of Hobbes and his unfortunate picture of the nature of man, one adds Spinoza’s trust in reason in accordance with God by another name – Nature. Add a dash of Leibniz’s postulate of individual divinity, and stir well. After baking in the oven of the Enlightenment, one is left with Rousseau. where everyone in society retains the liberty to partake of this tasty treat – democracy and personal rule combined with freedom in society. "
Dit is wat wij kijken alsof wanneer wij winnen.
posted by Mia at 11:44 AM
2 comments
